The Bane Chronicles: The Course of True Love (And First Dates)

[strongest_faith]

Alec was late. He was really late. Late enough that he was pretty sure Magnus would have given up on him. Damn Jace wanting to train and Alec's inability to think of a good enough excuse to get out of it.

He'd rushed through a shower and pulled on a light-blue shirt that was actually new. Izzy said it did good things for his eyes. Alec hoped they were good enough for Magnus to forget that he was supposed to be there more than twenty minutes ago. He also hoped Izzy had been right about the cologne. He'd never worn cologne before.

As he sprinted through the Brooklyn streets to Magnus's loft, Alec dodged between pedestrians and once or twice vaulted a low wall that was in his way. He couldn't be bothered to stop for things like red lights, so he just flitted between (or over) cars where necessary. He was already late, but he didn't have to be any later.

By the time he got to Magnus's loft and threw himself at the buzzer, he actually needed to catch his breath.


[ooc: Dialogue and plot courtesy of Cassandra Clare's The Bane Chronicles.]

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[strongest_faith]

"I...I won't," said Alec, clearing his throat. "I'm, um...I'm off duty."

"Shadowhunters are never off duty," Luigi said before leading them off to a dark and remote corner of the restaurant, for which Alec was extremely grateful.

A moment later, a werewolf waiter came to their table. He looked dreadfully bored. "Hello, my name is Eric, and I will be your server this eve-- Oh my god, you're a Shadowhunter."

[highwarlock_bane]

Magnus closed his eyes for a pained moment, "We can leave" he told Alec, "This may have been a mistake"

[strongest_faith]

As awkward as things were, as badly as he's sure this date is going, Alec would be damned if he was going to let some pimply werewolf intimidate him out of a date. Especially a date with Magnus. If this was going to be a...thing, if they were going to do this more than once, Alec was going to have to deal with Downworlders looking at him like he was, well, a Shadowhunter.

"No," he said, straightening slightly. "It's fine. It seems...fine."

"You're making me feel very threatened," said Eric the waiter.

[highwarlock_bane]

"He's not doing anything" Snapped Magnus.

"It's not about what he's doing it's about how he's making me feel" Erik slammed down the menus as if they had personally offended him, I get stress ulcers"

"The myth that ulcers are caused by stress was debunked years ago. It's actually some kind of bacteria." Magnus says

[strongest_faith]

Sensing things could rapidly get out of hand here, Alec pipes up, "Um...what are the specials?"

"I can't remember while my emotions are under this strain," said Erik. "A Shadowhutner killed my uncle!"

Alec blinked, taken aback. "I never killed anyone's uncle."

"How would you know?" demanded Erik. "When you're about to kill someone, do you stop and ask them if they have nephews?"

"I kill demons," Alec said. "Demons don't have nephews."

[highwarlock_bane]

Magnus knows that's only technically true. His father is a demon afterall.

Clearing his throat loadly. "Maybe I should just order for the both of us and we can share?"

[strongest_faith]

"Sure," said Alec, throwing his menu down.

"Do you want a drink?" the waiter asked Alec, adding sotto voce, "or do you want to stab someone? If you absolutely have to, maybe you could stab the guy in the corner wearing the red shirt. He tips terribly."

Alec opened his mouth, realized he...didn't know how to answer that, and closed it again.

Then, a moment later, "Is...this a trick question?"

[highwarlock_bane]

"Please go" Magnus says to Erik the waiter/

Even after Erik the waiter was gone Magnus is fairly sure that Alec is having a horrifying time and Magnus can't blame him.

Several of the other customers had left casting panicked glances over their shoulders as they paid hurriedly.

[strongest_faith]

It was...awkward. And Alec felt like he should know what to say, should be able to keep a conversation moving. Jace would. Jaace would be so much better at all of this.

When the food finally came, Alec looked it over, surprised to see Magnus had ordered the kitfo raw.

Still, it was familiar, and Alec could eat, even if he couldn't make small talk. Maybe, he could even do both.

"This is the best Ethiopian I've ever had," he said, between mouthfuls of doro wat. "Do you know a lot about food?" he asked, and then suddenly, that seemed like a ridiculous question. Magnus was...who even knew how old. He'd probably eaten all sorts of exotic foods Alec hadn't even heard of.

"I mean...obviously you do. Never mind. Dumb thing to say."

[highwarlock_bane]

Magnus noticed that Luigi put in an effort with this meal. At first Magnus was surprised that Alec knew to eat with his fingers without being told but then he realized that Alec is a New Yorker even if he is also a Shadowhunter.

"No it wasn't" Magnus says frowning.

[strongest_faith]

Alec reached for a bite of penne arrabbiata to cover the awkwardness of the moment, and immediately started choking, tears streaming from his eyes.

It was...really spicy. And Alec usually did fine with spicy foods.

[highwarlock_bane]

"Alexander!" Magnus exclaims

[strongest_faith]

"I'm fine...I'm fine," Alex gasped, trying to play it off like he hadn't just choked on pasta that was now trying to burn its way through is tongue.

He reached for his napkin and picked up his bread instead, only realizing it was bread when he went to dab his streaming eyes with it. He dropped the bread and grabbed his napkin instead, unfolding it completely so he could just bury his face in it. His ears were burning, and he knew his face must be bright red.

Could he be a worse date?"

[highwarlock_bane]

"You are obviously not fine!" Magnus responds before taking a tiny bite of the penne.

It burned like fire.

Magnus makes a peremptory gesture for the waiter that included a few blue sparks.

The people eating them were edging their tables subtly.

When the waiter arrives Magnus confronts Erik, "This penne is much too arrabiata, and you did it on purpose."

"Werewolf rights" Erik grumbled, "Crush the vile oppressors"

"No body has ever won a revolution with pasta, Erik. Now go get a fresh dish or I'll tell Luigi on you."

Erik starts to respond defiantly when Magnus narrows his cat eyes.

"My apologies"

"What a pill" Magnus remarks loudly as Erik walks away,

[strongest_faith]

Alec had finally gotten himself under control and breathing mostly normally. "Yeah," he said, glad to have something to talk about, even if it was just their horrible waiter. "What have Shadowhunters ever done to him?"

[highwarlock_bane]

Magnus lifted an eyebrow, "Well, he did mention s dead uncle."

[strongest_faith]

"Oh," said Alec. "Right."

So much for that line of conversation. Alec lowered his eyes to the tablecloth like maybe it would give him some conversational pointers.

[highwarlock_bane]

"He's still a total pill though" Magnus offers.

[strongest_faith]

Alec mumbled under his breath, low enough that Magnus would not hear. "This was a bad idea."

He was about to get up the nerve to say as much out loud when the door opened and a handsome mundane man came in, flanked by a group of gorgeous young faeries. At least, they looked young. With faeries, you could never really tell.

[highwarlock_bane]

Magnus slunk down in his chair. Richard. Richard is a mortal who the faeries had adopted in the way they did sometimes, especially when the mortals were musical. He was also something else.

Magnus clears his throat, "Quick warning. The guy who just walked in is an ex" he says, "Well. Barely an ex. It was very casual. and we parted very amicably."

At that very moment, Richard caught sight of him. Richard's whole face spasmed; then he crossed the floor in two steps.

"You are scum!" Richard hisses before picking up Magnus' glass of wine and dashed it in his face.

To Alec, "Get out while you can, Never trust a warlock. They'll enchant the years from your life and love from your heart!

[strongest_faith]

Alec sat up straighter. Apparently he wasn't Magnus's worst date ever.

[highwarlock_bane]

"Years?" Magnus splutters, "It was barely twenty minutes!"

"Time means different things to those who are of the faerie. You wasted the best twenty minutes of my life" says Richard the pretentious idiot/

Magnus grabs hold of his napkin and calmly cleans off his face as Richard retreats.

"Alright, it's possible I was mistaken about the amicable parting." trying to smile suavely, "Ah well. You know exes."

[strongest_faith]

Alec made eye contact right up until that last comment, at which point, his gaze moved resolutely back to the tablecloth. "Not really," he said. "You're my first ever date."

[highwarlock_bane]

Magnus didn't know why he thought this might work but it isn't working and has to get out of this date and not hurt Alec's pride.

With no satisfaction he texts Catrina under the table and then sat there quietly trying to figure out what he'll say to Alec.

His phone rings and Magnus answers it hastily.

Catrina's voice on the other end, "Magnus, there's an --"

"An emergency, Catrina?" Magnus intterupts her, "that's terrible! What happened?"

"An actual emergency happened, Magnus!"

Magnus appreciated Catrina's commitment to her role but wished she wouldn't shout. "That's so awful, Catrina/ I mean, I'm really busy, but I suppose if there are lives at stake I can't say n-"

Catrina interrupts Magnus, "There are lives at stake, you blithering idiot! Bring the Shadowhunter!"

Magnus Pauses

"Catrina, I don't think you fully understand the point of what you're meant to do here."

"Are you drunk already, magnus? Are you off debauching and getting one of the Nephlim-one of the Nephlim who is under 21- drunk? Nevermind that. Listen carefully because I am working and one of my hands is covered in fluid, and I'm only going to say this once""

"Fluid, what kind of fluid?" Magnus asks.

[strongest_faith]

Ah.

The date really was that bad. Bad enough that Magnus had engineered an emergency to get out of it. Alec could appreciate that Magnus was trying to spare his pride, at least.

Or he had appreciated it, until Magnus's conversation took a weird turn toward fluid?

He was sure his confusion showed on his face, but he couldn't seem to get his expression under control.