City of Bones, Apologizing to Clary
Aug. 17th, 2018 08:01 pmIn the four days since he'd been spectacularly foolish and thrown himself at a Greater Demon, Alec has had quite a lot of time to think. Especially as he's hardly been allowed out of bed since then.
When Clary comes to the Institute, he knows he has to talk to her about...well, about everything, so he offers to walk her up to Jace.
Hobble her up, really. The crutches are swiftly losing their novelty. Even so, he doesn't realize she's fallen behind until she's jogging up next to him.
"I have short legs," she says.
"Sorry." He slows his pace. "Look," he starts, though he's not sure where he's going yet. He usually doesn't, just starts talking until the words are coming out too quickly for him to stop. "Those things you said to me," he goes on, "when I yelled at you about Jace..."
Her voice is quiet, as small as she is. "I remember."
"When you told me that you, you know, that I was just--that it was because--" It's so hard, trying to get the words out. It was difficult enough in Milliways, with Sinric. Saying it here, in his world, in his home, to this...to Clary....
But he owed it to her to try. "When you said I was..."
"Alec don't."
He snipped off his words, almost sucking them back in. "Sure. Never mind. You don't want to talk about it."
"It's not that. It's that I feel awful about what I said. It was horrible. It wasn't true at all--"
"But it was true." He's surprised at the steadiness of his voice, quiet but firm. "Every word."
"That doesn't make it okay. Not everything that's true needs to be said." She keeps surprising him, this not-mundane. He can see why Jace likes her. He can even, a little, see why she's good for him. Even now, knowing they're brother and sister, that made sense too, somehow, like they were always supposed to be part of each other. "It was mean," she continues. "And when I said Jace had told me you'd never killed a demon, he said it was because you were always protecting him and Isabelle. It was a good thing he was saying about you. Jace can be a jerk but he--" She stops, like she was about to say something and changed her mind. "Never said a bad word about you to me, ever. I swear."
"You don't have to swear," Alec says. "I know already." Because it's Jace, and as much as he'd feared otherwise, he knows Jace trusts him or they wouldn't be parabatai. "I know I didn't kill Abbadon either. But I appreciate you telling me I had."
The tremble in her laugh makes him feel better, like he's not the only one strained by this baring of emotions. "You appreciate me lying to you?"
"You did it out of kindness. That means a lot, that you would be kind to me, even after how I treated you." Yet another thing that surprised him.
"I think Jace would have been pretty pissed at me for lying if he hadn't been so upset at the time. Not as mad as he would be if he knew what I'd said to you before, though."
Alec feels himself smiling like he can't stop it. "I've got an idea. Let's not tell him. I mean, maybe Jace can behead a Du'sien demon from a distance of fifty feet with just a corkscrew and a rubber band, but sometimes I think he doesn't know much about people."
She smiles back, so he must have done something right. "I guess so."
The staircase to the roof, where Jace was hiding out, was the end of Alec's journey. "I can't go up," he said, tapping a crutch against the spiral stairway.
"It's okay. I can find my way."
He starts to leave but he wants to do something to break the tension, so he turns back. "I should have guessed you were Jace's sister," he says. "You both have the same artistic talent."
She stops like she's surprised. "Jace can draw?"
"Nah." Alec smiles brightly. "I was just kidding. He can't draw a straight line."
Laughing softly, he pivots away and swings himself down the hallway.
[ooc: All dialogue comes from City of Bones by Cassandra Clare.]
When Clary comes to the Institute, he knows he has to talk to her about...well, about everything, so he offers to walk her up to Jace.
Hobble her up, really. The crutches are swiftly losing their novelty. Even so, he doesn't realize she's fallen behind until she's jogging up next to him.
"I have short legs," she says.
"Sorry." He slows his pace. "Look," he starts, though he's not sure where he's going yet. He usually doesn't, just starts talking until the words are coming out too quickly for him to stop. "Those things you said to me," he goes on, "when I yelled at you about Jace..."
Her voice is quiet, as small as she is. "I remember."
"When you told me that you, you know, that I was just--that it was because--" It's so hard, trying to get the words out. It was difficult enough in Milliways, with Sinric. Saying it here, in his world, in his home, to this...to Clary....
But he owed it to her to try. "When you said I was..."
"Alec don't."
He snipped off his words, almost sucking them back in. "Sure. Never mind. You don't want to talk about it."
"It's not that. It's that I feel awful about what I said. It was horrible. It wasn't true at all--"
"But it was true." He's surprised at the steadiness of his voice, quiet but firm. "Every word."
"That doesn't make it okay. Not everything that's true needs to be said." She keeps surprising him, this not-mundane. He can see why Jace likes her. He can even, a little, see why she's good for him. Even now, knowing they're brother and sister, that made sense too, somehow, like they were always supposed to be part of each other. "It was mean," she continues. "And when I said Jace had told me you'd never killed a demon, he said it was because you were always protecting him and Isabelle. It was a good thing he was saying about you. Jace can be a jerk but he--" She stops, like she was about to say something and changed her mind. "Never said a bad word about you to me, ever. I swear."
"You don't have to swear," Alec says. "I know already." Because it's Jace, and as much as he'd feared otherwise, he knows Jace trusts him or they wouldn't be parabatai. "I know I didn't kill Abbadon either. But I appreciate you telling me I had."
The tremble in her laugh makes him feel better, like he's not the only one strained by this baring of emotions. "You appreciate me lying to you?"
"You did it out of kindness. That means a lot, that you would be kind to me, even after how I treated you." Yet another thing that surprised him.
"I think Jace would have been pretty pissed at me for lying if he hadn't been so upset at the time. Not as mad as he would be if he knew what I'd said to you before, though."
Alec feels himself smiling like he can't stop it. "I've got an idea. Let's not tell him. I mean, maybe Jace can behead a Du'sien demon from a distance of fifty feet with just a corkscrew and a rubber band, but sometimes I think he doesn't know much about people."
She smiles back, so he must have done something right. "I guess so."
The staircase to the roof, where Jace was hiding out, was the end of Alec's journey. "I can't go up," he said, tapping a crutch against the spiral stairway.
"It's okay. I can find my way."
He starts to leave but he wants to do something to break the tension, so he turns back. "I should have guessed you were Jace's sister," he says. "You both have the same artistic talent."
She stops like she's surprised. "Jace can draw?"
"Nah." Alec smiles brightly. "I was just kidding. He can't draw a straight line."
Laughing softly, he pivots away and swings himself down the hallway.
[ooc: All dialogue comes from City of Bones by Cassandra Clare.]